I got to get away...

So I did not update anything yesterday when I did very well have the time. Oh well. That’s why I’m doing it today. So I decided that I really need to try and keep the past in the past. I hope I can do it. I just need to vent before I try and let go of things.

1. You should never of started a relationship if you are not over the person you last dated. It’s silly and only hurts the new person you date.
2. You did in fact write about something’s that made me smile and helped me remember a lot of fun things we did, BUT you also would go back to remembering your ex and still would talk about things that would never of happened if you where over your ex like you said you were. If you REALLY were you would have talked about them.
3. I officially decided that May and July are my least favorite months. You know the reason’s why.
4. I noticed that as soon as I found your journal you stopped writing about your ex…does that mean if I never found out about it you would still have wrote about them? That question haunts me almost everyday.
5. Do you like any music? Other than like 3 people??

The list ends there. I’m getting upset and I might end up getting mean and I don’t want to. Like I said before I NEED to get over the past and leave it where it belongs…in the past, but I can’t stop my mind from thinking things…I really wish I could have control over my brain and block out things that I know I should not be thinking. But I guess that’s part of the thrill of being human…if that makes sense?

I sometimes think that I should listen to more positive music so I won’t be so sad all the time. Like right now I’m listing to Hilary Duff “I am” here are some of the lyrics.

am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
and powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I'm miserable
Sometimes I'm pitiful
But that's so typical of all the things I am

They are kind of positive so that makes me happy. Now I have on “Who’s That Girl?” ...sad song… oh well I love sad songs and can’t help it.

So Katrina’s birthday is Sunday. We don’t have work in Saturday I kind of want to go see her as a surprise, but I dunno if that would work out. It would be amazing if we did not have work on Sunday so that way we can go see her for 2 days and stay the night, but I doubt that work would give us both off on the weekend…and better not because that’s the only time we can work.

Oh on another note I should be getting my computer back today! Nick only had it forever. I’m kinda pumped to have a computer back I really missed mine sooooo much…even if it is a piece of shit and I need to get a new one, but still the one I have kinda works so I’ll be happy to have it back and so I can fix things on my Ipod and up load more songs. I can also add pictures to my facebook and myspace that never got added =). Speaking of myspace it kinda makes me sad when Johnathon says that he hates myspace…. that’s how we met. It makes me sad and I know that makes me a loser, but that’s sometimes makes me feel as if he hates it then does that mean he hates that he met me on myspace? I dunno I’m crazy. I wish people actually would read my blog so I can get comments to know people care…oh well I gtg to class soon