So today has been weird in the feelings department. I’ve been up and down all day. I often wonder why I put on a smile and go on with my day… it does not make me feel any better what so ever. So then why do I do it? I dunno. Sometimes it’s for Johnathon and other days it’s for everyone who looks at me and thinks im fine. I need to stop lying to myself and to everyone around me…I’m not fine…and nobody cares enough to help me. I some times just want a hug…I don’t even really get those any more… I give them to people sometimes just so I feel better. No body wants to hug me, I always do the hugging even if that person does not want a hug. I for some reason REALLY want to dye my hair brown. It might make me feel like somebody new and maybe I won’t feel so sad…I dunno I guess it doesn’t matter what I want right? And that's how I feel...Well I’m gunna go because Johnathon will be done soon.
…I lied I can talk for a few more moments.
I got my computer back from Nick…bottom line I was pissed when I turned it on last night because it has NOTHING on it what so ever…w.e I get what I pay for…nothing!
I don’t want to go to class….fuck Ted’s. I wish someone would read my blog and make comments so I know people actually like me. Oh well. Why does Hilary Duff’s song Holiday haunt my brain! I listen to it over and over and over and over some more!! I fucking love it. She made a song that really falls into my category of music I guess. It’s sad and she’s talking about a lost love. that = the best songs (to me at least)
I feel sick. my head is all over the place...
I miss the summer
I miss who we were
I miss being happy...
I miss the spark...
please bring it back
maybe my happy days are taking a holiday? That must be it...
gtg Johnathon will be here soon.
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